Building Community

From this Sunday's lectionary readings, Acts 4:32

All the believers were one in heart and mind. No-one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had.

A friend posted the following on facebook, and I thought it was marvellous:

Ways of building community

turn off the tv

leave your house

know your neighbours

greet people

look up when you’re walking

plant flowers

use your library

play together

buy from local merchants

share what you have

honour elders

support neighbourhood schools

pick up litter

have pot lucks

garden together

read stories aloud

talk to the postman

start a tradition

ask questions

hire young people for odd jobs

organise a block party

bake extra and share

ask for help when you need it

sing together

share your skills

listen before you react to anger

mediate a conflict

seek to understand

learn from new and uncomfortable angles

A hellish place, or a place of discovery?

Sermon for the 1^st Sunday of Lent:  Gen 9:8-17; 1 Peter3:18-22; Mark 1:9-15

My father lives in the desert of Phoenix, Arizona, a land with just two seasons:  hot and hotter.  Their winter is like an English summer, with temperatures in the 70’s, but in summer Phoenix becomes a hellish place, and the people stay indoors with the air conditioning on to survive the heat (that is, if they can afford air conditioning).

Our gospel reading today got me thinking about what it would be like to live in the desert for 40 days.  Jesus was ‘sent’ into the desert by the Spirit – it wasn’t as if he knew what he was there for, or chose to go with a sense of purpose.  So for a start, it would probably be for us a bit like being blindfolded and plonked in the middle of the Mojave or the Sahara.  What would you do? 

You’d probably first want to remove your blindfold, and then maybe you’d begin wandering around.  It wouldn’t take long before the whole ‘focus of your being’ would be on how thirsty you’ve become.  It’s getting difficult to swallow.  Your lips cake up and stick to your teeth and begin to crack and even to bleed.  For Jesus, this experience is in direct contrast with the full-immersion baptism he had just undergone; we can imagine Jesus there in the desert, casting his mind back to the cool, clear water of the Jordan embracing him – refreshing water, cleansing and thirst-quenching. 

But here in the desert, there’s not a drop to drink. And dehydration plays all kinds of tricks on the mind. What easy prey Jesus could have been for Satan’s tempting suggestions.  Our gospel writer says he was with ‘wild animals’, too, and I don’t think he meant harmless little lizards or meercats. Some writers suggest that the wild animals were caring for Jesus alongside the angels, but I don’t think so.  In Isaiah 11 it is prophesied that one day ‘the wolf will live with the lamb, the leopard will lie down with the goat, the calf and the lion and the yearling together; and a little child will lead them’, but I don’t think that day has yet arrived. The picture that Mark was sketching out here was that this wilderness was ‘a hellish place’.  And in this bleak and miserable environment, the ground seemed only fertile for the germination of fear and desperation.

The story in Mark is typically short, but we have the devil in the detail provided by Matthew and Luke.  “If you are the Son of God”, says the Tempter, “tell these stones to become bread.  If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down from this temple.  I’ll give you all the kingdoms of the world and their splendour, if you’ll bow down and worship me.”  Essentially, after 40 days of fasting in the desert, in his weakness Jesus is tempted to sway from his path and true purpose. 

For us, the 40 days of the season of Lent provides time to consider what it is that tempts us from following our path and true purpose.  And many of us try to discipline ourselves at this time from common temptations that affect many people; temptations like:  spending money as a way to comfort yourself, even if you’re already in debt; drinking too much alcohol or eating too much as a way of dealing with your problems; spending too much time on the computer, to the neglect of family and friends; or simply focussing too much on your own comfort and security, while ignoring the needs of the wider community.  And if any of your temptations have become addictions, you aren’t alone, and you don’t need to struggle alone. There is help available – reach out, tell someone – tell me or tell Frank and we can get you to a place where there is help. 

As Jesus overcame his temptations, he went on to fulfil his earthly mission, ending with the cross and the resurrection and his ascension into heaven. And so the desert or the wilderness becomes transformed from its potential as a ‘hellish place’ to a place of discovery with the potential for growth.  ...Our second reading from Peter’s first letter says that the whole reason for the death and resurrection of Christ was ‘to bring us to God’.  And as Christians for centuries have testified, our own desert places, as difficult as they are while we’re in them, have the potential to bring us closer to God and closer to the awareness of what matters most in life. 

The theologian Karl Rahner movingly expresses this idea of the desert being a place of deep personal discovery of God when he says: 

Therefore Jesus goes into the desert, therefore he fasts; therefore he leaves behind everything else that a man needs even for bare existence, so that, for this once, not just in the depths of his heart but in the whole range of his being he can do and say what is the first and last duty of humankind – to find God, to see God, to belong to God to the exclusion of everything else that makes up human life. And therefore he fasts. Therefore through this cruelly hard act, this denial of all comfort, this refusal of food and drink, through the solitude and abandonment of the desert, through everything else that involves a rejection, a self-denial of the world and all earthly company, through all these he proclaims this fact: one thing only is necessary: that I be with God, that I find God, and everything else, no matter how great or beautiful, is secondary and subordinate and must be sacrificed, if needs be, to this ultimate movement of heart and spirit.

But this ‘finding’ of God in our personal desert regions doesn’t end there; for we who have been through the waters of baptism, who are possessed by the Holy Spirit, are inevitably then also led back into the world and into its wilderness places, where Jesus calls us to turn toward the broken, the hurting and the lonely.  Because as one contemporary thinker puts it:  ‘that's where Jesus hangs out’.  That’s where Jesus calls us – to feed the hungry, to visit those who are, in many ways, imprisoned, and to speak hope to the hopeless.

Did you know there are at least 27 million people worldwide who are captive in slavery today?  There’s a new UK-based initiative (called, appropriately enough, “27 Million”), that aims to raise awareness for these people, many of whom are children, who are enslaved for the purposes of sex or for labour.  For most of us it is difficult to face the reality of this – just imagine what life is like for these people.  But we don’t have to feel helpless about it – there are ways to help.  These people need someone to stand up for them.  This is where the living water needs to be shared – in the deserts of life.  And as we reach out and get out hands dirty, the ‘hellish places’ become places of discovery and growth not only for ourselves but also for others.

If you look carefully in the desert you can discover some amazing displays of life.  Just the other day I read about scientists finding what they called ‘a microbial oasis’ living in the extreme conditions of the Atacama desert in Chile.  Many plants have adapted to make the most of the desolate regions of the world.  There’s an entire ecosystem organised around the conditions of life in the desert.  Nature works with what it has, it hasn’t got a choice – and everything is inter-connected.

As individuals and as communities we have choices when it comes to how we live. We can chose to separate ourselves from those who are different from us, whom we might consider scary or even ‘unclean’; or we can recognise our inter-connectedness with others, that what we do affects others; and what happens to others, affects us. With this view, we realise our daily choices matter – what we choose to eat and drink, what we choose to spend our money on and how we spend our time, and how we deal with the daily temptations of life, all of this really does matter. 

God said to Noah that his covenant is between God and every living creature.  In 1 Peter the apostle says that Christ died ‘once for all’.  In Mark’s gospel, Jesus emerges from his baptism and heads straight into the desert, and then emerges from the desert to proclaim the good news:  the time has come; the kingdom of God is near!   Whatever Lenten disciplines you observe, may they help you to discover the nearness of the kingdom.  And when you go through the desert, as we all do at times, may you discover the strength that comes from Jesus, and may you be thoroughly refreshed by His living water, which is ultimately all that anyone needs.   Amen. 

Power to the Grasshoppers!

Do you not know?  Have you not heard?  The Everlasting God will give us strength and power, and his kingdom has no end.  Trust in God, not in worldly princes or rulers.  Remember who you are and remember who God is.  We’re going to look at Isaiah 40:21-31 (if you have a church bible, it’s at the bottom of page 724).  This passage is empowering - not only does it give us confidence in God’s strength, it also gives us confidence that God will strengthen us:  v. 31 - ‘those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint’.  Such wonderful encouragement, especially when we’re struggling in a place of weakness in our life.

A few verses earlier, in verse 6, the poet-prophet writes ‘all people are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field.  ...The grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of our God stands for ever’.  We are like grass, aren’t we? – When the sun shines, we’re happy, but when the heat is on, we wither!  Human life is fragile and short.  We’re like grass.  And then in Isaiah 40:22 we are likened as grasshoppers. Have you ever thought of yourself as a grasshopper?  Grasshoppers are relatively small; and grasshoppers have little wings to help them flit randomly from one thing to another.  But here’s God’s consolation:  in verse 31 he says, ‘They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint’.  God’s power and strength are promised to us.  An eagle is a big step up from a grasshopper!

This passage helps us remember who God is, and who we are in relation to God.  And when we recognise ourselves as being small and fragile, like grass or like a grasshopper, and we acknowledge God as being quite big – after all, he made the whole universe – to hold on to this perception of humanity and of God is quite a healthy and appropriate thing for us to do.  Because thinking about God as immeasurable, powerful, inexhaustible and everlasting – and about ourselves as small and limited – frees us; we can travel lighter, be more like Jesus – humble, but not a doormat – free from the need to measure up to other people’s expectations, free to quietly seek God’s will; to allow God to refresh us, and to do what God asks of us, to focus our life simply on that.  It frees us from the futility of striving for success and power; it frees us from the foolish grasping for status.

Nations rise and nations fall; princes and rulers are nothing:  Earthly governments are as fragile as newly planted grass – the Roman Empire, the British Empire, the Soviet Empire, the German Empire, the USA, and now the up-and-coming China – their power has never been a threat to God.  The Arab Spring – the power struggles in Tunisia, Egypt, Libya, Bahrain, Syria and Yemen – there is no threat to God’s kingdom in all of this.  The rise and fall of Political parties – I take a keen interest in the show currently going on in the US Republican primaries.  In TIME magazine, Fidel Castro, the retired Cuban leader, has offered his views on that, calling it “the greatest competition of idiocy and ignorance that has ever been”. 

Here in Britain – the rise and fall of Bankers and Politicians: the former Royal Bank of Scotland CEO Fred Goodwin stripped of his knighthood after he led the RBS into the world’s largest bailout of £45.5 billion.  Chris Huhne resigning from his cabinet post to deal with the charge of ‘perverting the course of justice’.  Political parties, politicians, bankers and corporations are no threat to the kingdom of God.  And in the wise words of Psalm 146, we are cautioned, ‘Put not your trust in princes, in mortal men, who cannot save’ – trust in God alone. 

Brueggemann, writing on Isaiah, says that “in our own time, it’s not very difficult to identify as ‘Babylon’ the global system of consumer capitalism that seems to sweep all before it, so that it has the power through its relentless “liturgy” (that is, advertising) to tell us what is possible.  The struggle for women and men of faith now, as always, is to be able to imagine our life out beyond the system that seems totally... encompassing.  ...It’s an act of boldness ...to [re-imagine and reinterpret] life in terms of God, the creator who brings to nought both the wonders of creation and the pretenders of politics.  It is easy for people of faith to conclude that the creator God is an irrelevance in a contemporary system that seems... set in stone.  [Isaiah], however, will not permit such a verdict. The very God taken to be obsolete is the One who governs and gives strength, who makes it possible for life to be taken up again without the force of empire.  ...this One [overrides] the nothingness offered by imperial task masters.”

Whenever Jesus took himself off to pray in solitude, as he does in our gospel reading in Mark 1:29-39, he returns refreshed, re-committed, and re-focused on his mission.  And out of that, he’s given the strength to say ‘no’ when something is asked of him that doesn’t align with what the Father asks of him.  In Capernaum he worked many miracles of healing and the people wanted him to stay, but staying wasn’t part of God’s plan, and the time Jesus spent in prayer confirmed that.  It was time to go. Of course he disappointed those who wanted him to stay, but as a result of his moving on, the Kingdom of God grew. And that kind of insight is available to us as we’re called to prayer and enabled to move forward in the service of the Kingdom of God that continues to break in to our world. A good discipline we might consider then, would be to wake up each morning and say, ‘God how can I be useful in your kingdom today’? 

I showed a video at our mid-week communion service here last Thursday where the message was about letting go of the things we hold onto in our lives, those things that distract us from ‘the one thing’ – what God is calling us to.  We often say ‘yes’ to all kinds of obligations that keep us from focusing on what really matters.  But if we’re serious about following Jesus, what really matters is that our lives contribute to the building up of God’s kingdom, by accepting God’s strength and God’s power that’s given to us so that, like Simon’s mother-in-law, we might rise up from the fever of life to  serve God.

But maybe we’re like Jacob and Israel, in Isaiah 40:27, complaining that God doesn’t notice us or doesn’t care about us or isn’t able to do anything to save us or help us?  The answer given in vv. 28-31 is that God is continually working for us, tirelessly, endlessly.  And so we can either sink in our cynicism while holding on to false securities, or we can live in hope and expectation that God moves powerfully, among us and within us.  God’s power and energy is here – we simply need to trust. 

Sometimes amidst life’s struggles it can feel like we’re distant from God, in a kind of spiritual exile.  Or with this economy perhaps we’re in an economic exile, where we’re unfairly separate from those in a higher income bracket.  When life’s at its most difficult, we can lose perspective. We can lose sight of the trees for the forest. That’s when we most need to remember: the creator of the universe knows our situation. God understands our fears, our hopes, our dreams, and our pains. God’s wisdom is unsearchable, and God’s power is unmatched. Remember who you really belong to, and rest in God’s holy presence. Do you not know?  Have you not heard? Look at the world around you - look up at the stars, on these cold and clear nights - and receive the gift of perspective. God is vast, and we are small, and God is holding us in the palm of his hand.  In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, Amen.

Leadership

I've been thinking a lot about leadership lately.  I'm writing an essay on church discipline and its relevance in the 21st century church, and of course the leader of a church has a role in that.  There have been some interesting online debates recently about church discipline - if you're interested take a look at Matthew Paul Turner's blog.

But my thoughts on leadership have been much wider than just church discipline, and it seems I'm not the only one who is thinking a lot about 21st century church leadership lately (see Mike Friesen's blog here, here and here, for instance).

In my research for this essay I've found some great books, which I highly recommend: 

The Fourfold Leadership of Jesus, by Andrew Watson, an Anglican vicar;

7 Deadly Sins of Women in Leadership by Kate Coleman, a Baptist minister;

Post-Christendom:  Church and Mission in a Strange New World by Stuart Murray, an Anabaptist and overseer of Urban Expression, a pioneering urban church planting agency;

and Leadership:  a Critical Text by Simon Western, a Quaker, and the Director of Coaching at the Management School, Lancaster University.

At this point in my curacy (in my final year) I'm reflecting a lot on what kind of leader I want to be and what kind of leader God wants me to be.  I'm thinking about what kind of leadership style I'm inclined towards, and how I might need to push beyond my natural comfort zones to really go where God wants to take me in terms of leading a church as an incumbent.  It's quite exciting, really.  This is such an interesting time in Christianity in the west.  Interesting and very challenging. 

I quite like it that the books listed above, the ones I really got a lot out of, are written by people from four different traditions.  One thing I warmed to about all four books is their common emphasis on the need for collaboration and community.  The 21st century does not take well to domineering, heirarchical leadership, but a multi-voiced, sensitive, listening, serving and enabling kind of leadership is what many are calling for, with vision, attentive to the Spirit. Bring it on!

Epiphany

Readings:  Isaiah 60:1-6, Ephesians 3:1-12, Matthew 2:1-12

By now I’m sure all the decorations are put away, the thank-you notes have been written and the diets begun.  For many, the past week has meant returning to work, returning to school, returning to the usual routine.  Christmas is over, and there are only 351 days until it comes round again.  For some people, exciting things have happened this Christmas: an engagement, a wedding, or the birth of a baby; for others Christmas has been disastrous:  an illness, a job loss, or the death of a loved one.  For some people, Christmas has been just about shopping and parties.  However your Christmas was spent, it’s not uncommon afterwards to feel a bit low. 

Walking around Tesco the other day, I was struck by the change of mood amongst people – instead of the atmosphere of excitement and good will that I found before Christmas, people seemed grumpier and less friendly afterwards.  I wondered, when all is said and done, ‘what difference does Christmas make’.  From the evidence I gathered at Tesco, if Christmas changes people at all, the effect seems to be only temporary.  And maybe that’s not too surprising. After all, bad news doesn’t stop at Christmas.  Violence continues, in Nigeria, in Syria, in Iraq and even in this country.  Worldwide, the economy is still floundering.  Darkness seems to cover many places and people. Even those of us with faith are at times beset by darkness.  When we go through times of darkness what we need to do is persevere in seeking the light of Christ. We must find our own epiphanies, and we must seek in unexpected places:  among the poor and lowly, in the stranger; among the outcast, and in the suffering.  And we must expect and even desire to be changed.

After Jesus was born, Magi from the east ‘saw his star’ and followed it to Bethlehem.  Without any light pollution, the night sky must have been amazing, but the Magi had discovered an especially bright star, and they were convinced this was the sign that the king of the Jews had been born.  They were so sure of it they travelled afar from their Eastern homeland, bringing gifts fit for a king.  They found what they were searching for when the star stopped over the place where Jesus was, and they bowed down to worship him.     

There’s a thread running through our readings today, and it is this:  that God has intended his light to draw people together from far and wide, as his glory and his grace and his accessibility to all the nations is revealed through his Son.  The prophet Isaiah says ‘Nations will come to your light, and kings to the brightness of your dawn’.  In Ephesians, Paul preaches to the Gentiles the boundless riches of Christ, ‘to make plain to everyone the administration of this mystery’, that through Christ all people may approach God with freedom and confidence.  And in Matthew, the Magi represent the foreign nations – Matthew is telling us that Jesus is for the whole world – the reign of Christ is without limit.  Jew and Gentile, wealthy and poor, oppressed and oppressor: Jesus, the Light of the World, came for all people.    That’s why we’re here worshipping together – and that’s why, in turn, we must welcome all.

When the Magi finished worshipping Jesus, and after being warned in a dream to stay clear of Herod, they returned to their country by another route.  I wonder what difference the epiphany made to the Magi.   I mean, when they returned home, do you think they went back to their ‘same old routine’?  No doubt they still had day-to-day responsibilities as we all do, but they must have been changed by their encounter with Jesus.  I wonder how they were changed by their epiphany; Matthew doesn’t tell us.  But then I wonder does Epiphany change us?  Just as it’s tempting to think ‘another Christmas is over and nothing has changed’, can it be true that as another epiphany comes and goes, it has changed nothing?  Surely life is nothing unless it involves change.  We may not like it, we may be afraid of it; but perhaps like the Magi, we, too, need to return ‘by another route’.  Consider these words from Gregory the Great, of the late 6^th century, who said, “having come to know Jesus we are forbidden to return by the way we came”.  And from the early 20^th century the Scottish protestant minister Oswald Chambers, who said, ‘Beware of spending too much time looking back at what you once were, when God wants you to become something you have never been’. 

For Christmas to have any meaning at all, we need to experience our own Epiphanies – we must respond to the light we see in Christ. Signs of assurance come when we step out in faith.  When the Magi found the Christ child they were assured it had been the right thing to do. When Lesley and Sue and I started the Lunch Club, we knew it was the right thing to do.  We were anxious about it, but we stepped out in faith.  And each time we meet with those who come to the lunch club, people usually shunned by society because of their mental health issues, the truth in God’s word is confirmed for us that by welcoming the stranger we’re welcoming Jesus among us –the fulfilment this brings is hard to put into words, but we are certain that it’s right and it’s worthwhile and it’s Kingdom stuff.  Following the light of Christ leads us into God’s mission in the world. 

So if, like me, you found yourself a bit deflated after all the hype of Christmas, wondering what difference Christmas makes, the solution can only be to remember to focus on the light of Christ, and expect to find it in unexpected places, even in the darkness of this world.  When we keep our eyes focussed on Jesus and his light, with thankfulness for all that we’ve been given, then everything is changed:  the ordinary and the routine; our pain and our joy – all of life is changed by our faith in Christ, who is the light of our hope in the midst of darkness.  Setting off from a faraway place, the Magi didn’t know what to expect, but no doubt their encounter with Jesus changed them.  And when we encounter Jesus, we are changed – to walk a different and sometimes uncomfortable path – and really, we have to accept this:  we cannot go back the way that we came – we must find another route.

Outcomes of Giving

Recently I attended a helpful training session for curates about "Christian Giving".  It was well led by John Preston who is the National Stewardship Officer of the Church of England. One of the many motivational things Preston spoke about was the importance of communicating to the parish the bigger picture of what their giving achieves.  So rather than simply saying "we need everyone to give more because we need to pay our bills", Preston urged us to consider emphasising the outcomes of the activities that our giving supports. 

I decided to compile a list of our parish activities and then try to describe the outcomes of those activities.  It's rather long and may not make for enthralling reading but I thought it was beneficial to engage in this exercise, and I recommend it to others.   Here are the results of my efforts:

Activity: Sunday and mid-week worship with a variety of styles and times offered

Outcome:  Provides a place and a space to worship publically with fellow believers; facilitates the opportunity to grow in faith alongside others through word and sacrament.  Offering worship is one of our primary callings as people of faith.  

Activity: Choirs and music group

Outcome: Provides support for and leads the congregations in worship through hymns, choruses and carols. Musical ambassadors for the parish in the community and in churches and cathedrals around England. Provides an opportunity for young people and adults to use their musical talents and gifts in the service of others.

Activity: Parish Newsletter (delivered house-to-house)

Outcome: Promotes church activities and seasonal festivities to the community, reminding people that their parish church is here and available and active.

Activity: Magazine & Sunday notice sheet

Outcome: Keeps parishioners, whether church attendees or not, updated as to the current goings-on; facilitates communication and promotes a sense of belonging.

Activity: T4U & Care Link trips

Outcome: Welcoming elderly (and not-so-elderly) people for fellowship, speakers and outings. Promotes a sense of community. Holy Communion prior to T4U meets the needs of those who cannot get to church easily on Sundays.

Activity: Lunch club for those with mental health disabilities

Outcome: Providing a welcome and hospitality for people who are often marginalised in society. A simple meal and friendly conversation is a blessing to those who give, as well as to those who receive.

Activity: Care Home Friendship group

Outcome: Befriending residents and staff of the care home as a way of fostering relationships in the community through mission.

Activity: Wirral Foodbank involvement

Outcome: Provides emergency food to those who have fallen on hard times.  We’re continuing to donate food helping to get the Wirral Foodbank up and running, and looking into collaboration with other churches to provide a distribution centre for needy people in our community.

Activity: Pathways involvement

Outcome: Working ecumenically, this facilitates a listening space for people affected by crisis pregnancy and/or abortion, as a demonstration of God’s unconditional love. We also occasionally provide a prayer meeting space for Pathways and its supporters. Involvement includes prayer, financial support, volunteering as a greeter, as a counsellor, or being on the steering committee.

Activity: Sea Cadets and RNLI involvement

Outcome: Provision of chaplaincy support by the curate and vicar to the Sea Cadets and the RNLI, respectively. Hosting the annual RNLI service in our church.

Activity:  Carers & Tots

Outcome:  Provides a fun and safe place for toddlers and their carers, as well as giving the Christian leaders and helpers the opportunity to demonstrate Christian welcome, love and care in church.  Participants often feed into various other activities that happen in church, like the Christmas tree service.

Activity:  Uniformed Organisations

Outcome:  Provides a place for children’s participation in Rainbows, Brownies, Guides, Beavers, Cubs and Scouts, with monthly parade services for Christian worship, teaching and prayer.  Several leaders are church members. 

Activity:  AA meetings

Outcome:  Providing a place for people to meet and support one another in recovery from alcoholism. 

Activity:  Keep Fit, Zumba, Kung Fu, Karate, Badminton

Outcome:  Providing a place for people in the community to take up healthy activities; promotes physical health and well-being. 

Activity:  Saturday drop-in coffee
Outcome:  Provides a welcome and hospitality to the community.

Activity:  Charitable Giving - over 10% of parish income goes to support various charities.

Outcome:   Over the past year we’ve given over £11,000 of parish income to various charitable causes, providing medical assistance to the poor and the sick, care for the homeless and the destitute, support for the oppressed and those affected by natural disasters worldwide. 

Overcoming Discouragement

So I've received a bit of criticism as-of-late, my training incumbent tells me.  It comes from someone who apparently doesn't like women priests.  A bit of character assassination. OK.  It's all part of the training, in my view.  I have to learn to deal with criticism.  At least if it's just that they don't like women priests, I don't have to take it personally (Lol).  Pray for those who persecute you (I tell myself).  It just seems so sad and ridiculous, and such a waste of energy to be so wrapped up in the male priest/female priest thing when there is so much else to do.  I debated whether to blog about this, but actually it's an important thing to say about my curacy experience, that some people disagree with my being in this position.  But not only has the national Church called me to this vocation, God has called me to this vocation.  I'm certain of that.  Here's some of Psalm 118, which seems particularly helpful at the moment:

Psalm 118

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;

  his love endures forever.

In my anguish I cried to the LORD,
  and he answered by setting me free.
The LORD is with me; I will not be afraid.
  What can man do to me?
The LORD is with me; he is my helper.
   I will look in triumph on my enemies.

It is better to take refuge in the LORD
   than to trust in man.
It is better to take refuge in the LORD
   than to trust in princes.

All the nations surrounded me,
   but in the name of the LORD I cut them off.
They surrounded me on every side,
   but in the name of the LORD I cut them off.
They swarmed around me like bees,
   but they died out as quickly as burning thorns;
   in the name of the LORD I cut them off.

I was pushed back and about to fall,
   but the LORD helped me.
The LORD is my strength and my song;
   he has become my salvation.

Open for me the gates of righteousness;
   I will enter and give thanks to the LORD.
This is the gate of the LORD
   through which the righteous may enter.
I will give you thanks, for you answered me;
   you have become my salvation.

The stone the builders rejected
   has become the capstone;
the LORD has done this,
   and it is marvelous in our eyes.
This is the day the LORD has made;
   let us rejoice and be glad in it.

O LORD, save us;
   O LORD, grant us success.
Blessed is he who comes in the name of the LORD.
   From the house of the LORD we bless you.
The LORD is God,
   and he has made his light shine upon us.
  With boughs in hand, join in the festal procession
   up to the horns of the altar.

You are my God, and I will give you thanks;
   you are my God, and I will exalt you.
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good;
   his love endures forever.