The Curacy Cafe's days are numbered. It has been three years, and hopefully, at some stage over the next six months, I will be moving out of the assistant curate role into the role of an incumbent vicar. It will be a big change, and I'm already mourning the relative calm experienced when you're not the one who is ultimately responsible for the running of the parish. I feel ready though. I'm ready to put the vision that God has given me into practice and action. I'm excited most about working collaboratively with people and doing everything I can to equip people for mission and ministry.
I don't know yet where I will be going. Most of my curate colleagues have already obtained posts. But I am still waiting. It is an anxious time, not just for me but for my family. There are possibilities in the pipeline, but nothing is certain at this time. It is a time for patience and trust.
It's hard to put into words all that I've learned over the past three years. And I'm still learning. At the moment, I'm busy working with the vicar from a neighbouring parish in the schools that she is involved with (blooming hard work, coming up with fresh assemblies every week), and I'm leading a weekly discipleship course, "Life on the Frontline", from LICC, which is inspiring and encouraging and refreshing.
I had a wonderful evening last night leading prayers as Chaplain at the Sea Cadets, who put on an excellent display for the Lord Lieutenant of Merseyside, Dame Lorna Muirhead. And we're off next week on an outing with our Lunch Club, with people from our community who have mental health problems, to a candle factory in Beeston, to be followed by a stop at the Cheshire Farm Ice Cream shop. All great stuff. It's not all wonderful, though, of course... as life runs alongside death at all times in this life - I have a funeral next week for a stillborn baby. And we continue to minster to parishioners who are facing serious issues. There's always a tension between the opposite ends of ministry.
I'm nearly finished with my Master's, with just the dissertation outstanding. Completing the assignments, alongside everything else, has been a challenge, but I'm excited about starting the dissertation- the focus will be on church growth. Will try to blog about that later after it gets going.
Anyway, my posts seem to be few and far-between lately, probably because this is such a transitional time. I'm trying to decide whether I want to blog anymore at all when my curacy is finished. I may be too busy then . It has been quite good, though, dipping my toe into the waters of the blogosphere during my curacy.
Showing posts with label reflection. Show all posts
Showing posts with label reflection. Show all posts
Thursday, 28 June 2012
Sunday, 11 September 2011
Sermon for 9/11 - Matthew 18:21-35
The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times? Jesus answered, I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' The servant's master took pity on him, cancelled the debt and let him go. But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow- servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded. His fellow- servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I cancelled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow- servant just as I had on you?' In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.
In the spring I planted several different types of seed in small pots – maybe you did the same. This year I grew flowers since I knew I wouldn’t be around to harvest vegetables, but generally, no surprises, the seeds I planted grew and flowered and the flowers that came were exactly as it said they would be on the packet. The seeds in the sweet pea packet germinated and grew into sweet peas, the sunflower seeds became sunflowers, and so on for the cosmos, the pansies, and the marigold seeds. We kind of expect that when it comes to gardening, we will reap what we sow. I wonder why it’s so hard for us, then, to translate that expectation to our relationship with God or with other people. In Galatians 6:7, Paul said ‘do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows’.
...So this king was going to sell his servant and the servant’s whole family in order to make up for the large debt owed to him. It must have mattered to the servant that he stay in this particular king’s service rather than get a new master, because he begged the king not to do this. But the king didn’t accept the servant’s promise to ‘pay back’ everything – instead, he cancels the debt unconditionally! The kingdom of heaven is like this, Jesus says.
But instead of being thankful and going on to be merciful to others, the servant becomes a bully, and he treats one of his fellow servants without mercy - first he assaults him and then gets him thrown into prison for the relatively small debt that he owed. The king finds out and makes sure the servant gets back as good as he has given: he reaps what he has sown. Jesus says this is how his Father in heaven will treat those who don’t forgive their brother or sister from their heart.
In one of his speeches, Martin Luther King said that ‘hate begets hate, violence begets violence’, toughness begets even greater toughness’; in the bible, in Matthew 26:52, when Jesus was being arrested and one of his companions draws his sword and cuts off the ear of the High Priest’s servant, Jesus says ‘those who live by the sword, will die by the sword’.
In the parable of the unmerciful servant, if we understand the king as representing God, we see that he offers forgiveness first, before the servant was expected to forgive. In our own life, if we receive the forgiveness that God has given us through the cross - the cancellation of our debt as sinners - but then we refuse to extend forgiveness to others - we have to ask ourselves, why should we be forgiven?
In Matthew 6, Jesus teaches his followers to pray for forgiveness in what we call The Lord’s Prayer: ‘forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us’. Jesus clearly says that if you want forgiveness you’ve got to be prepared to forgive others: he says ‘if you forgive others when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins’.
So in today’s passage, Peter comes to Jesus and asks, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” ...“I tell you”, Jesus answers, “not seven times, but seventy-seven times”. Jesus is saying ‘don’t even think about counting: just do it’. Because if you’re still counting how many times you’ve forgiven someone, you’re not really forgiving them at all. Forgiveness is tough. But forgiveness is the only appropriate response to evil if we’re not to become what we oppose. We reap what we sow.
There’s a providence to the timing of today’s gospel passage. Today marks the 10th anniversary of 9/11, the devastating terrorist attack that resulted in the deaths of nearly 3000 people and shocked the world. There were two paths forward from the ashes and rubble of 9/11. The first path led to war, torture, and fear: President Bush announced a War on Terror, the aims of which would be to bring Osama bin Laden and al Qaeda to justice and prevent the emergence of other terrorist networks. The response was to engage the forces of many nations in war, in Iraq and Afghanistan, and the result was the further death of many thousands of people, spending of trillions of dollars and billions of pounds. The result was a growth in radicalised groups, of all different allegiances – an increase in hate-crimes, and an increase in fear of ‘the other’. Discrimination, prejudice, stereotyping, vengefulness and violence breeding more violence.
But another path -- led by Christians and people of other faiths, and some of no faith too -- was marked by soul-searching, genuine mourning for the lost and standing up for peace-building, making efforts towards understanding, and caring for our neighbours.
The challenge we face when we are attacked is whether we’re prepared to let go of our need for "vengeance". In the end, if we seek "justice" in that way, we’re not seeking true justice at all – we’re just trying to balance the scales in our favour. The result is always a cycle of more pain. We reap what we sow. And so, once again, as hard as it is, we’re faced with the shocking, persistent call of Jesus Christ, to follow his example, and to offer forgiveness even to those we feel don’t deserve it.
As Christians, we pray to become ‘Christ-like’, which means we want nothing more than to reflect in our lives the love that God is, overcoming selfishness and self-absorption; pursuing love and reconciliation with God, with family, with Church, with people of other faiths, in culture and politics, and with our enemies. Reconciliation has to be at the centre of our mission. In the world to come, there will be no hatred. In the new creation, holding something against your neighbour or your enemy won’t be an option, because God will be all in all – Love will be all in all. That the servant in today’s parable could behave how he did towards his fellow servant – in the new creation, it just wouldn’t enter his mind... and our calling is to work towards that new creation even now.
Nelson Mandela once said there’s 'no future without forgiveness.' It might take a long time, but we can't give up. We’re called to stand up and be instruments of God for making things right in the world. The 10th anniversary of 9/11 is an opportunity for reflection. Imagine its victims looking at the world from heaven... The greatest memorial to those who died ten years ago, and to those who continue to die in the wars after, will be a world more inclined toward peace.
We are right to remember that God is with those who are in pain and suffering. But it would be a distortion of what Christ did for humanity on the cross if at the same time, we didn’t remember Christ’s attitude to those who crucified him: Jesus cries ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do’. If we remember that God is with those who suffer, but do not remember his attitude towards those who inflict the suffering, then we’re not remembering in truth. And if we don’t remember that we are all part of sinful humanity, then we are not remembering in truth. So may you sow seeds of forgiveness - and may you grow the flowers of peace and reconciliation.
Let us pray: God of mercy, your love overwhelms us with your generous forgiveness. You release us from a debt we can never repay. Open our hearts to extend love and mercy to all who are penitent. And may we persevere in working towards dialogue, peace and reconciliation with those who are not. Through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times? Jesus answered, I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. The servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' The servant's master took pity on him, cancelled the debt and let him go. But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow- servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded. His fellow- servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.' But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I cancelled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow- servant just as I had on you?' In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.
In the spring I planted several different types of seed in small pots – maybe you did the same. This year I grew flowers since I knew I wouldn’t be around to harvest vegetables, but generally, no surprises, the seeds I planted grew and flowered and the flowers that came were exactly as it said they would be on the packet. The seeds in the sweet pea packet germinated and grew into sweet peas, the sunflower seeds became sunflowers, and so on for the cosmos, the pansies, and the marigold seeds. We kind of expect that when it comes to gardening, we will reap what we sow. I wonder why it’s so hard for us, then, to translate that expectation to our relationship with God or with other people. In Galatians 6:7, Paul said ‘do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows’.
...So this king was going to sell his servant and the servant’s whole family in order to make up for the large debt owed to him. It must have mattered to the servant that he stay in this particular king’s service rather than get a new master, because he begged the king not to do this. But the king didn’t accept the servant’s promise to ‘pay back’ everything – instead, he cancels the debt unconditionally! The kingdom of heaven is like this, Jesus says.
But instead of being thankful and going on to be merciful to others, the servant becomes a bully, and he treats one of his fellow servants without mercy - first he assaults him and then gets him thrown into prison for the relatively small debt that he owed. The king finds out and makes sure the servant gets back as good as he has given: he reaps what he has sown. Jesus says this is how his Father in heaven will treat those who don’t forgive their brother or sister from their heart.
In one of his speeches, Martin Luther King said that ‘hate begets hate, violence begets violence’, toughness begets even greater toughness’; in the bible, in Matthew 26:52, when Jesus was being arrested and one of his companions draws his sword and cuts off the ear of the High Priest’s servant, Jesus says ‘those who live by the sword, will die by the sword’.
In the parable of the unmerciful servant, if we understand the king as representing God, we see that he offers forgiveness first, before the servant was expected to forgive. In our own life, if we receive the forgiveness that God has given us through the cross - the cancellation of our debt as sinners - but then we refuse to extend forgiveness to others - we have to ask ourselves, why should we be forgiven?
In Matthew 6, Jesus teaches his followers to pray for forgiveness in what we call The Lord’s Prayer: ‘forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us’. Jesus clearly says that if you want forgiveness you’ve got to be prepared to forgive others: he says ‘if you forgive others when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins’.
So in today’s passage, Peter comes to Jesus and asks, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?” ...“I tell you”, Jesus answers, “not seven times, but seventy-seven times”. Jesus is saying ‘don’t even think about counting: just do it’. Because if you’re still counting how many times you’ve forgiven someone, you’re not really forgiving them at all. Forgiveness is tough. But forgiveness is the only appropriate response to evil if we’re not to become what we oppose. We reap what we sow.
There’s a providence to the timing of today’s gospel passage. Today marks the 10th anniversary of 9/11, the devastating terrorist attack that resulted in the deaths of nearly 3000 people and shocked the world. There were two paths forward from the ashes and rubble of 9/11. The first path led to war, torture, and fear: President Bush announced a War on Terror, the aims of which would be to bring Osama bin Laden and al Qaeda to justice and prevent the emergence of other terrorist networks. The response was to engage the forces of many nations in war, in Iraq and Afghanistan, and the result was the further death of many thousands of people, spending of trillions of dollars and billions of pounds. The result was a growth in radicalised groups, of all different allegiances – an increase in hate-crimes, and an increase in fear of ‘the other’. Discrimination, prejudice, stereotyping, vengefulness and violence breeding more violence.
But another path -- led by Christians and people of other faiths, and some of no faith too -- was marked by soul-searching, genuine mourning for the lost and standing up for peace-building, making efforts towards understanding, and caring for our neighbours.
The challenge we face when we are attacked is whether we’re prepared to let go of our need for "vengeance". In the end, if we seek "justice" in that way, we’re not seeking true justice at all – we’re just trying to balance the scales in our favour. The result is always a cycle of more pain. We reap what we sow. And so, once again, as hard as it is, we’re faced with the shocking, persistent call of Jesus Christ, to follow his example, and to offer forgiveness even to those we feel don’t deserve it.
As Christians, we pray to become ‘Christ-like’, which means we want nothing more than to reflect in our lives the love that God is, overcoming selfishness and self-absorption; pursuing love and reconciliation with God, with family, with Church, with people of other faiths, in culture and politics, and with our enemies. Reconciliation has to be at the centre of our mission. In the world to come, there will be no hatred. In the new creation, holding something against your neighbour or your enemy won’t be an option, because God will be all in all – Love will be all in all. That the servant in today’s parable could behave how he did towards his fellow servant – in the new creation, it just wouldn’t enter his mind... and our calling is to work towards that new creation even now.
Nelson Mandela once said there’s 'no future without forgiveness.' It might take a long time, but we can't give up. We’re called to stand up and be instruments of God for making things right in the world. The 10th anniversary of 9/11 is an opportunity for reflection. Imagine its victims looking at the world from heaven... The greatest memorial to those who died ten years ago, and to those who continue to die in the wars after, will be a world more inclined toward peace.
We are right to remember that God is with those who are in pain and suffering. But it would be a distortion of what Christ did for humanity on the cross if at the same time, we didn’t remember Christ’s attitude to those who crucified him: Jesus cries ‘Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do’. If we remember that God is with those who suffer, but do not remember his attitude towards those who inflict the suffering, then we’re not remembering in truth. And if we don’t remember that we are all part of sinful humanity, then we are not remembering in truth. So may you sow seeds of forgiveness - and may you grow the flowers of peace and reconciliation.
Let us pray: God of mercy, your love overwhelms us with your generous forgiveness. You release us from a debt we can never repay. Open our hearts to extend love and mercy to all who are penitent. And may we persevere in working towards dialogue, peace and reconciliation with those who are not. Through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.
Friday, 13 May 2011
Fit for life (or at least the next three months)
My training incumbent is now away on a three month sabbatical. Right from the first day of his absence, I have noticed my phone has rung quite a lot more often. I think the next three months will be good for me. My plan is to use this time to improve my organisational, admin and time-management abilities, and to make a strategic effort to increase my energy levels. After all, ordained ministry is a marathon and not a sprint! I need energy to focus on ministry and mission, and to be the person God calls me to be. I know I won’t function well in the long run if I don’t make some changes. These changes mainly revolve around discipline in the following areas: eating, exercise, leisure, prayer and study time, and sleep. My purpose in writing this blog post is to keep myself accountable to my intentions. Any readers are welcome to support me in this effort with encouragement and prayer!
Eating: My aim is to try and stop using chocolate as an instant energy and feel-good drug. I’m not saying that I’ll cut out chocolate completely, but I’m going to try to cease ‘using’ it any more. In addition, I’m going to try to eat healthier in general. I’m going to try to let the phrase ‘you are what you eat’ inform my choices!
Exercise: I know that exercise increases my energy levels and my sense of well-being; I just haven’t been prioritising it or making time for it. I’m going to try to do this more often. Fortunately, we live in an area that lends itself to walks, and this gives the added benefit of time with my husband, if we go walking together.
Leisure: A parishioner recently suggested that it’s arguable whether clergy should have a day off. This was casually said after I had conducted two funerals on what should have been my day off, at the end of what was a very busy week indeed. I suppose many parishioners aren’t aware of what this vocation actually means (or entails) in practice. That aside, I am not doing a very good job of keeping my day off. I’m very aware of this, and I’m hoping with improvements in other areas I will get better at sanctifying time off. I recently wrote an essay with a focus on personal and professional boundaries, and that was helpful, getting me to reflect on that very important issue.
Prayer and study time: I pray contantly. I study quite a lot, too. But I feel the need to be more disciplined and focused in these areas. It’s interesting that since my training incumbent has been away, I’ve been drawn back to the Common Worship Morning Prayer liturgy. Yes, it’s wordy, but I find it sets me up well for the day, and covers all the bases. The online version is great because the readings and prayers are all there for each day. I’m also working my way through Brian McLaren’s Naked Spirituality, in which he shares a simple yet effective discipline of connection with God. Regarding the study time, as a curate I’m supposed to have a designated ‘study day’, but this has never materialised for me. I think parish obligations have probably got in the way of this, because we have two churches. It’s my responsibility to make time for study, so I need to prioritise the need for it, especially now while I am a curate.
Sleep: This is related a bit to the ‘boundaries’ issue – like many people, I find it hard to ‘switch off’ at night and sleep. The concerns of the parish come to bed with me! I have made a concerted effort not to stay up too late (I used to be very bad at doing this), so that’s an improvement. In a way, it would be unusual if I never let things worry me, but hopefully, with the added exercise and changes in diet and attention to adequate leisure, sleep will come easier. Last night I took some mineral supplements – calcium and magnesium – which my mother says help her sleep. I had one of the best sleeps for a long time, so maybe there’s something in it.
Everything is linked. I hope my efforts in these areas will combine and build upon each other to give me more energy and ultimately that it will result in an increased ability to do the work God asks of me in ministry - in the parish, in family life and in my personal wholeness and well-being. If we want to participate in God’s new creation, we had better keep ourselves fit for purpose! I hope and pray that my training incumbent’s sabbatical helps both him, and me, along that way.
A prayer by John Cosin (1594-1672):
Be thou a light unto my eyes, music to mine ears, sweetness to my taste, and full contentment to my heart. Be thou my sunshine in the day, my food at table, my repose in the night, my clothing in nakedness, and my succour in all necessities. Lord Jesu, I give thee my body, my soul, my substance, my fame, my friends, my liberty and my life. Dispose of me and all that is mine as it may seem best to thee and to the glory of thy blessed name.
Amen.
Eating: My aim is to try and stop using chocolate as an instant energy and feel-good drug. I’m not saying that I’ll cut out chocolate completely, but I’m going to try to cease ‘using’ it any more. In addition, I’m going to try to eat healthier in general. I’m going to try to let the phrase ‘you are what you eat’ inform my choices!
Exercise: I know that exercise increases my energy levels and my sense of well-being; I just haven’t been prioritising it or making time for it. I’m going to try to do this more often. Fortunately, we live in an area that lends itself to walks, and this gives the added benefit of time with my husband, if we go walking together.
Leisure: A parishioner recently suggested that it’s arguable whether clergy should have a day off. This was casually said after I had conducted two funerals on what should have been my day off, at the end of what was a very busy week indeed. I suppose many parishioners aren’t aware of what this vocation actually means (or entails) in practice. That aside, I am not doing a very good job of keeping my day off. I’m very aware of this, and I’m hoping with improvements in other areas I will get better at sanctifying time off. I recently wrote an essay with a focus on personal and professional boundaries, and that was helpful, getting me to reflect on that very important issue.
Prayer and study time: I pray contantly. I study quite a lot, too. But I feel the need to be more disciplined and focused in these areas. It’s interesting that since my training incumbent has been away, I’ve been drawn back to the Common Worship Morning Prayer liturgy. Yes, it’s wordy, but I find it sets me up well for the day, and covers all the bases. The online version is great because the readings and prayers are all there for each day. I’m also working my way through Brian McLaren’s Naked Spirituality, in which he shares a simple yet effective discipline of connection with God. Regarding the study time, as a curate I’m supposed to have a designated ‘study day’, but this has never materialised for me. I think parish obligations have probably got in the way of this, because we have two churches. It’s my responsibility to make time for study, so I need to prioritise the need for it, especially now while I am a curate.
Sleep: This is related a bit to the ‘boundaries’ issue – like many people, I find it hard to ‘switch off’ at night and sleep. The concerns of the parish come to bed with me! I have made a concerted effort not to stay up too late (I used to be very bad at doing this), so that’s an improvement. In a way, it would be unusual if I never let things worry me, but hopefully, with the added exercise and changes in diet and attention to adequate leisure, sleep will come easier. Last night I took some mineral supplements – calcium and magnesium – which my mother says help her sleep. I had one of the best sleeps for a long time, so maybe there’s something in it.
Everything is linked. I hope my efforts in these areas will combine and build upon each other to give me more energy and ultimately that it will result in an increased ability to do the work God asks of me in ministry - in the parish, in family life and in my personal wholeness and well-being. If we want to participate in God’s new creation, we had better keep ourselves fit for purpose! I hope and pray that my training incumbent’s sabbatical helps both him, and me, along that way.
A prayer by John Cosin (1594-1672):
Be thou a light unto my eyes, music to mine ears, sweetness to my taste, and full contentment to my heart. Be thou my sunshine in the day, my food at table, my repose in the night, my clothing in nakedness, and my succour in all necessities. Lord Jesu, I give thee my body, my soul, my substance, my fame, my friends, my liberty and my life. Dispose of me and all that is mine as it may seem best to thee and to the glory of thy blessed name.
Amen.
Thursday, 21 April 2011
Easterly things
Easter started for me last week when our church hosted the local primary school for 'Experience Easter', a great resource created by the Gloucester Diocese. Six 'stations': Palm Sunday, Washing the disciples feet, the Last Supper, the Garden of Gethsemene, the Cross, and the Empty Tomb. All the lovely volunteer station leaders were blessed by this interactive way of engaging the school children. We hope the children were blessed by it, too, and will remember at least some of it during Eastertime.
Palm Sunday itself was a wonderful day at church because we had a Confirmation service at the same time, with six people being confirmed including my darling 12-year-old son. The vicar taught the confirmation classes for the three adult candidates and I taught the three youngsters. It was a blessing and a privilege to teach them - so much fun, and a challenge, too, keeping them engaged with it all.
The week has been busy, but I had time last night to go to the Liverpool Anglican Cathedral to hear Rob Bell speak about his new book, 'Love Wins' (I recommend it highly). Tonight is the Agape Meal at church; tomorrow is Good Friday of course, and I'm going on the ecumenical Walk of Witness. There are Easter Crafts at church, at which my daughter is helping, and the 'three hours at the cross' devotions, and in the evening, Stainer's 'Crucifixion' from our excellent choir. Easter Sunday starts early for me with the 8:00am BCP Holy Communion service at one church followed by 9:45am Holy Communion at t'other.
A blessed and joyful Easter to all!
Wednesday, 23 March 2011
Questions and more questions
In England everyone has recently received the 2011 Census form. We’re supposed to fill in these forms on the 27th of March, but I’ve read the form all the way through already because the questions asked and the data generated from it is of great interest to me. I’ve used census data before in research and I will use the data from this year’s census in future research, especially as it helps sketch a picture of each parish and of the nation. It is compulsory for everyone to complete the census, to the point where you could be fined if you do not. But I find it fascinating that there is one question that is ‘voluntary’. Which question is that? It's the one about religion. Every other question is compulsory, including who you have staying overnight on the night of 27th March. Why is the religion question voluntary? Maybe it’s considered too personal, or maybe it’s too controversial.
Another question I find interesting is number 37: ‘At your workplace, what is the main activity of your employer or business?’ Well, I am paid by the Church of England. So what is the main activity of the Church of England? I know some people could come up with a few sarcastic answers to that one. But what should be the Church of England's main activity (in no more than 50 characters)? I was going to put 'The Cure of Souls'. My daughter thinks that sounds really naff.
------------------------------------------------------
In the past couple of days I’ve read two rather disturbing articles on the BBC News website. The first one is about a survey carried out by the British Humanist Association that suggests that two-thirds of Britons are not religious. You can read that one here.
The second article is about a study that uses census data from nine countries that shows religion will become 'extinct'. You can read it here.
What are we to make of all this? I'm mulling it over.
Thursday, 17 March 2011
Sustenance
Among my usual curacy activities of sermon and service preparation, visiting, chaplaincy, funerals, meetings, IME coursework and teaching the confirmation class, I've been involved in a particularly intense ongoing pastoral situation for the past six months that has greatly challenged my personal emotional, physical and spiritual resources. As part of my continuing education, I'm currently writing a paper on pastoral ministry and through this a question has come up: what is sustaining me through all of this?
Well, the short answer, in my view, is: the Holy Spirit. I know the Spirit is sustaining me and equipping me because I know I couldn't do this on my own. My faith is as strong as ever. But because of this particularly challenging ongoing situation, I've been finding it very difficult to focus during prayer time. I'm more easily distracted than usual. I find music very helpful for this, especially instrumental music. I'm not as chatty with God in prayer at the moment - I often just need to sit still in God's presence and not say too much apart from the occasional lifting up names of people who are in need.
The bible has always been significant in sustaining me and that's not changed, though I only seem to be able to manage small bites lately. I have less energy and often need a nap to sustain me. I often stay up too late and I'm not sleeping very well. I'm my own worst enemy, though, and I know I need to get more exercise (or at least some exercise) and make better eating choices, which would help all around.
I would like to say that my family also sustains me, but I'm not too sure at the moment! Sometimes they do, but sometimes they don't. That's the reality of family, of course... I couldn't live without them. I am really looking forward to our holiday back home to California in the summer. I haven't met with my Spiritual Director for quite a while. I think I really should set up a meeting with her. My training incumbent deserves a mention here, too, as he helps me to reflect on ministry and offers a listening ear.
In this role I have witnessed the effects of some of the worst things humans can do to others, but also I've witnessed some of the best things of humanity. My heart alternates between swelling with love and joy and throbbing with pain for another. But I remain hopeful. My fundamentally optimistic nature helps. But really what sustains me is my faith - faith in a good God, in a God who does care - faith in a God who is making all things new, even though it is painful. We do need sustenance to persevere. St. Paul teaches us a lot about perseverance and endurance. I think I'll go read him right now.
Well, the short answer, in my view, is: the Holy Spirit. I know the Spirit is sustaining me and equipping me because I know I couldn't do this on my own. My faith is as strong as ever. But because of this particularly challenging ongoing situation, I've been finding it very difficult to focus during prayer time. I'm more easily distracted than usual. I find music very helpful for this, especially instrumental music. I'm not as chatty with God in prayer at the moment - I often just need to sit still in God's presence and not say too much apart from the occasional lifting up names of people who are in need.
The bible has always been significant in sustaining me and that's not changed, though I only seem to be able to manage small bites lately. I have less energy and often need a nap to sustain me. I often stay up too late and I'm not sleeping very well. I'm my own worst enemy, though, and I know I need to get more exercise (or at least some exercise) and make better eating choices, which would help all around.
I would like to say that my family also sustains me, but I'm not too sure at the moment! Sometimes they do, but sometimes they don't. That's the reality of family, of course... I couldn't live without them. I am really looking forward to our holiday back home to California in the summer. I haven't met with my Spiritual Director for quite a while. I think I really should set up a meeting with her. My training incumbent deserves a mention here, too, as he helps me to reflect on ministry and offers a listening ear.
In this role I have witnessed the effects of some of the worst things humans can do to others, but also I've witnessed some of the best things of humanity. My heart alternates between swelling with love and joy and throbbing with pain for another. But I remain hopeful. My fundamentally optimistic nature helps. But really what sustains me is my faith - faith in a good God, in a God who does care - faith in a God who is making all things new, even though it is painful. We do need sustenance to persevere. St. Paul teaches us a lot about perseverance and endurance. I think I'll go read him right now.
Wednesday, 2 February 2011
To be in Christ
I have recently become facebook 'friends' with a guy I went to school with. I remember him as a fun, funny, popular, cheerful and happy-go-lucky kind of person; I also knew that for quite some time he hadn't been in contact with his family and there was the intimation of a problematic phase of life. But God is in the problematic phases of life (thank you God), and in looking at my friend's info page on facebook, it is most obvious to me that he has been on a life-changing spiritual journey for the past few years. He has become what some might call a follower of the New Spirituality, along the lines of the Christ Consciousness movement, which is an attractive spiritual quest and one that I think has some truth to offer us all.
My friend makes inspirational videos and posts them on You Tube under the name Amplifying the Light (Atomas Victory), if anyone is so inclined as to look at them. An interesting thing that my friend has written in his You Tube profile:
I'll admit that a lot of these 'secret' teachings would be considered gnostic and heretical by many Christians. But I also think that the Church is missing something significant if it doesn't take more seriously the meaning of what Jesus said in John 17 when he prayed to the Father for his disciples that they would be one with him as he is one with the Father. By the Holy Spirit, we live in Christ and Christ lives in us. And Christ is One with the Father. So not only does Christ give us 'access' to God, he also makes possible the intimacy between us and God that Christ himself has.
Meditation features highly in New Age Spirituality. I don't think Christians meditate enough about the fact that God is in Christ and therefore through him God is in us. This morning I decided to try and meditate on the concepts of 'One' and 'Oneness'. It was lovely, though I only could sustain it for 15 minutes as I'm not well-practiced in meditation. I would like to try and keep this up though. I'm grateful to my old friend for helping me to remember the intimacy that God offers us all when we are open and seek this.
I realise writing about this stuff is risky - it's on the edge. But the attraction is in the emphasis on love and on freedom, which is exactly what the gospel proclaims. It's interesting how this resonates with the writings of some of the Christian mystics like Meister Eckhart, Teresa of Avila and Julian of Norwich, and the more contemporary Thomas Keating. And it resonates directly with my own conversion experience, too, when the purity and clarity of God's love was shown to me 12 years ago. 'Awake, O sleeper, and Christ shall give you light'. It seems that our fear is a block. I want to try and get rid of that block. I'd like to engage in this conversation with others who are either attracted by this or repelled.
My friend makes inspirational videos and posts them on You Tube under the name Amplifying the Light (Atomas Victory), if anyone is so inclined as to look at them. An interesting thing that my friend has written in his You Tube profile:
This channel is dedicated to broadcasting (Amplifying) information and knowledge (Light) about, what may be considered "Secret Teachings". Of course none of these are really secret but it's probably not the type of information that you would find at the local church (lol).
I'll admit that a lot of these 'secret' teachings would be considered gnostic and heretical by many Christians. But I also think that the Church is missing something significant if it doesn't take more seriously the meaning of what Jesus said in John 17 when he prayed to the Father for his disciples that they would be one with him as he is one with the Father. By the Holy Spirit, we live in Christ and Christ lives in us. And Christ is One with the Father. So not only does Christ give us 'access' to God, he also makes possible the intimacy between us and God that Christ himself has.
Meditation features highly in New Age Spirituality. I don't think Christians meditate enough about the fact that God is in Christ and therefore through him God is in us. This morning I decided to try and meditate on the concepts of 'One' and 'Oneness'. It was lovely, though I only could sustain it for 15 minutes as I'm not well-practiced in meditation. I would like to try and keep this up though. I'm grateful to my old friend for helping me to remember the intimacy that God offers us all when we are open and seek this.
I realise writing about this stuff is risky - it's on the edge. But the attraction is in the emphasis on love and on freedom, which is exactly what the gospel proclaims. It's interesting how this resonates with the writings of some of the Christian mystics like Meister Eckhart, Teresa of Avila and Julian of Norwich, and the more contemporary Thomas Keating. And it resonates directly with my own conversion experience, too, when the purity and clarity of God's love was shown to me 12 years ago. 'Awake, O sleeper, and Christ shall give you light'. It seems that our fear is a block. I want to try and get rid of that block. I'd like to engage in this conversation with others who are either attracted by this or repelled.
Monday, 31 January 2011
If you have love for one another
Yesterday we had the last of our 'circumstance-dictated' joint services with the two churches in my parish. The heating in the older building has now been fixed, so the two congregations can return to separate spaces. The past three weeks of togetherness have been good, with a larger congregation and the voices of two choirs, worshipping and fellowshipping together. Many old grievances and walls between the two churches are melting away as time passes and each church reaches out to the other. The diocesan GAP (Growth Action Plan) process has been helpful in speeding up this process as both churches work together in mission, as has the patient care and hard graft of the vicar, my training incumbent.
This parish has an interesting history. In the early days, the two churches each had their own vicar. Then for a while the parish consisted of three churches, under one vicar. Subsequently, one of these churches joined with a different church as a united benefice, leaving this parish with its current configuration of two churches under one vicar (with curate).
I have said before that these two churches are very different in style. One is in an old building, built in the 1850's, and has more traditional forms of worship, with an 8am Book of Common Prayer Holy Communion service (written in 1662), without any hymns or songs; a 10:30 Common Worship service (written in 2000), with traditional hymns, organ and robed choir; and a 5 pm service of Choral Evensong, which again is from the 1662 Book of Common Prayer, and again incorporates traditional hymns, organ and robed choir. The interior of the building is traditional, with pews, formal choir stalls, high altar, and Lady Chapel. The chancel walls are painted with beautiful frescoes, but they in need of repair. There is no church hall, as it was sold off years ago, but there is a space at the back of church which has been re-ordered to make room for fellowship, with a kitchen and lavatories, and a small room for Sunday School (there are 2 children who attend regularly at present).
The second church's building used to be old, too, but the old building had to be demolished and a new, smaller building sprung up in 2001. As you come in the front door, the new building has a small coffee lounge leading to a worship space (people here refer to that part as 'the church'), and on into a hall, where the uniformed groups such as Brownies, Cubs, Guides and Scouts meet throughout the week, and where the Sunday School is held on during the main service. There are about 8 children who regularly attend Sunday School, and once a month we have a Parade Service with the uniformed groups, where there are about 40 children present. At the Parade services, a band plays with brass, keyboard, flutes, clarinets and guitars. It's an all-age band, which I am in, as are my two kids. This church has also got a robed choir, but they sit in normal chairs like the rest of the congregation. There are no pews, and there is no Lady Chapel. There is a small organ (not a large pipe organ like in the other church), but there is no organist at present, so the music for worship comes via CD's. This church uses some traditional hymns but also more contemporary worship songs, and they do not use hymn books, they project the words onto a screen.
Recently with the joint services some people from the traditional church were inspired to comment after experiencing the worship at the less formal church that they would like something different from time to time in their more formal church. My heart leaps in hearing this. The all-age all-instrument band has been invited to play on occasion at the more formal church, too, and so far has been well-received. Things are moving, and it is exciting to witness. One church member is going to start up Messy Church there soon - how wonderful is that?! In fact, the GAP process has invigorated both churches in many ways. Its such a privilege to be part of the church as the body of Christ and to be involved with others as we all seek to be faithful disciples. May we continue to listen and be open to the Spirit's leading.
This parish has an interesting history. In the early days, the two churches each had their own vicar. Then for a while the parish consisted of three churches, under one vicar. Subsequently, one of these churches joined with a different church as a united benefice, leaving this parish with its current configuration of two churches under one vicar (with curate).
I have said before that these two churches are very different in style. One is in an old building, built in the 1850's, and has more traditional forms of worship, with an 8am Book of Common Prayer Holy Communion service (written in 1662), without any hymns or songs; a 10:30 Common Worship service (written in 2000), with traditional hymns, organ and robed choir; and a 5 pm service of Choral Evensong, which again is from the 1662 Book of Common Prayer, and again incorporates traditional hymns, organ and robed choir. The interior of the building is traditional, with pews, formal choir stalls, high altar, and Lady Chapel. The chancel walls are painted with beautiful frescoes, but they in need of repair. There is no church hall, as it was sold off years ago, but there is a space at the back of church which has been re-ordered to make room for fellowship, with a kitchen and lavatories, and a small room for Sunday School (there are 2 children who attend regularly at present).
The second church's building used to be old, too, but the old building had to be demolished and a new, smaller building sprung up in 2001. As you come in the front door, the new building has a small coffee lounge leading to a worship space (people here refer to that part as 'the church'), and on into a hall, where the uniformed groups such as Brownies, Cubs, Guides and Scouts meet throughout the week, and where the Sunday School is held on during the main service. There are about 8 children who regularly attend Sunday School, and once a month we have a Parade Service with the uniformed groups, where there are about 40 children present. At the Parade services, a band plays with brass, keyboard, flutes, clarinets and guitars. It's an all-age band, which I am in, as are my two kids. This church has also got a robed choir, but they sit in normal chairs like the rest of the congregation. There are no pews, and there is no Lady Chapel. There is a small organ (not a large pipe organ like in the other church), but there is no organist at present, so the music for worship comes via CD's. This church uses some traditional hymns but also more contemporary worship songs, and they do not use hymn books, they project the words onto a screen.
Recently with the joint services some people from the traditional church were inspired to comment after experiencing the worship at the less formal church that they would like something different from time to time in their more formal church. My heart leaps in hearing this. The all-age all-instrument band has been invited to play on occasion at the more formal church, too, and so far has been well-received. Things are moving, and it is exciting to witness. One church member is going to start up Messy Church there soon - how wonderful is that?! In fact, the GAP process has invigorated both churches in many ways. Its such a privilege to be part of the church as the body of Christ and to be involved with others as we all seek to be faithful disciples. May we continue to listen and be open to the Spirit's leading.
Saturday, 15 January 2011
Blogging
I'm thinking I would like to start blogging a bit more on thoughts or reflections rather than mainly just posting my sermons. One problem with this, though, is that a lot of what happens in ministry is confidential, or its stuff that wouldn't be right to put out there into the wide open blogosphere. For example, recently I've been feeling quite bruised by some criticism targeted at a particular service that I was involved in. I felt the criticism was unfounded and in fact, petty, but to go into detail about it here just doesn't feel right. And I've been involved in some highly intense pastoral situations, but they are certainly not appropriate to write about. This reflects the nature of the job, and also underscores to a certain extent its isolating aspect.
Another problem is the risk of being labelled [liberal, conservative, evangelical, catholic, orthodox, heretic - take your pick - although like Brian McLaren I would hope that I'm all those and more], when a particular flag is flown or cause promoted (though some of that might be discerned from the sermons anyway). One never knows who reads the blog, and though truth matters, so does my future ministry. Whether to be bold in this or not, the most important thing to me is that I am faithful to the gospel as I understand it.
I had a visit from the Diocesan Director of Curates (at least that's what I call him - not sure of his official title), and we talked a bit about the interesting phenomenon of online social networking and blogs (he has a blog, a facebook and a twitter account himself). We both agreed that it doesn't make sense to bury your head in the sand re: the opportunities that online communication affords. If we want to be able to relate to this generation, this stuff isn't going to go away.
I love reading the blogs that I'm subscribed to. I sometimes wish I blogged like Rachel in Revise Reform or maybe like Rev Elizabeth in The Rev and a Dog or like NRIGirl in Coffee with Jesus, but as anyone can see, those are very different blogs, and anyway, I should just be myself, I guess. I just feel a little stuck in a rut. But evolution is natural, so, who knows?
Wednesday, 8 September 2010
It has been a busy couple of weeks. My training incumbent has been away on holiday. Two funerals, six church services, pastoral visits, a chapter meeting, standing committee, music group, ladies fellowship. And school starting up again for my 14-year-old daughter and 11-year-old son. My son started high school, which begins at year 7 here. A big change for him, but so far, so good.
With the end of summer, church activities start up again - like the parents/carers & tots groups. I'm looking forward to being involved in those two groups again. I have to finish off my application for the Sea Cadet chaplaincy asap, and start to increase our level of involvement with a local care home and the local primary school. I've also got a paper to write for my master's programme, about the book we curates had to read (Remembering our Future). I need more hours in each day and more days in each week!
I've been reflecting a lot on preaching. I'm not happy with my preaching. I would like to get better at preaching without a written script. It doesn't feel right to read my sermon, no matter how well I do it, and no matter how often I make eye contact (a lot, I think). There isn't enough engagement with the congregation. I need to work on this.
In conversation with a parishioner, I've come to realise that most of our sermons are too long, and people switch off. What good is that? I think I need to make my sermons a lot shorter, and try to learn how to preach it without relying on my manuscript.
With the end of summer, church activities start up again - like the parents/carers & tots groups. I'm looking forward to being involved in those two groups again. I have to finish off my application for the Sea Cadet chaplaincy asap, and start to increase our level of involvement with a local care home and the local primary school. I've also got a paper to write for my master's programme, about the book we curates had to read (Remembering our Future). I need more hours in each day and more days in each week!
I've been reflecting a lot on preaching. I'm not happy with my preaching. I would like to get better at preaching without a written script. It doesn't feel right to read my sermon, no matter how well I do it, and no matter how often I make eye contact (a lot, I think). There isn't enough engagement with the congregation. I need to work on this.
In conversation with a parishioner, I've come to realise that most of our sermons are too long, and people switch off. What good is that? I think I need to make my sermons a lot shorter, and try to learn how to preach it without relying on my manuscript.
Wednesday, 3 March 2010
Reflecting on Funerals
I remember when I was on the ordination training course asking former students who were into their first year of curacy how they felt about funeral ministry. It’s a common question amongst ordinands in training – how will we respond to the inevitable and regular taking of funerals? The answer given by all the new curates and experienced clergy that I’ve ever asked has been that funeral ministry is very special, very much a privilege and a blessing, and a unique opportunity to minister to people at one of life’s most deeply challenging times. And now that I have begun taking funerals myself, I have to agree.
Every funeral is different, because every person is unique. It’s fairly peculiar to the Church of England (as the national ‘established’ church) that we often take funerals for people who have had only a very weak link with the church. Anyone within our parish boundaries can have a funeral service led by a Church of England minister, whether they ever attended church or not; whether they were baptised or not.
Some funerals are more difficult than others, of course. In my experience that can often depend upon whether the family are a cohesive unit or not, but obviously a funeral for anyone who isn’t elderly carries an added sense of tragedy. Recently I conducted a funeral for someone who was under the age of 40, who died in tragic circumstances, and whose family situation was quite fragmented. That was the hardest so far, which affected me for several days after, though I never knew the deceased person or his family before the funeral.
To me, a ‘good’ funeral is one where I can really sense a good support system within the family itself, which I know will help carry them through the weeks, months and years ahead. The minister has got a pastoral obligation to follow up with visiting the bereaved, but family and friends are going to be the more frequent providers of care and attention. I have to say at this point, though, that the church can be a real lifeline to people who have lost loved ones. I think also that it is so good for a church to offer some form of bereavement support group, something which I know has been very helpful for members of my own family after my brother-in-law and stepfather passed away last year. Hopefully we will be able to set up something like that soon at the church I’m in now. It certainly seems needed.
Death is such an enigma. On the one hand, we know it is unavoidable, part of life, and will come to us all. On the other hand, we are so shocked by it. St. Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 15:55 that because of the resurrection of Jesus after his death, death’s sting and victory are no more. This gives us assurance and hope for the afterlife, where there will be no more tears or sorrow. For now, death still jars us and shocks us. We weep for love lost. We are still bound to suffering in this world. It doesn’t feel right, and it isn’t right. But I believe that is why Jesus came, why he suffered, died, was buried, resurrected and ascended into heaven. I believe wholeheartedly in the everlasting life offered in Christ Jesus. And that is the only possible comfort I can bring to others who mourn.
Every funeral is different, because every person is unique. It’s fairly peculiar to the Church of England (as the national ‘established’ church) that we often take funerals for people who have had only a very weak link with the church. Anyone within our parish boundaries can have a funeral service led by a Church of England minister, whether they ever attended church or not; whether they were baptised or not.
Some funerals are more difficult than others, of course. In my experience that can often depend upon whether the family are a cohesive unit or not, but obviously a funeral for anyone who isn’t elderly carries an added sense of tragedy. Recently I conducted a funeral for someone who was under the age of 40, who died in tragic circumstances, and whose family situation was quite fragmented. That was the hardest so far, which affected me for several days after, though I never knew the deceased person or his family before the funeral.
To me, a ‘good’ funeral is one where I can really sense a good support system within the family itself, which I know will help carry them through the weeks, months and years ahead. The minister has got a pastoral obligation to follow up with visiting the bereaved, but family and friends are going to be the more frequent providers of care and attention. I have to say at this point, though, that the church can be a real lifeline to people who have lost loved ones. I think also that it is so good for a church to offer some form of bereavement support group, something which I know has been very helpful for members of my own family after my brother-in-law and stepfather passed away last year. Hopefully we will be able to set up something like that soon at the church I’m in now. It certainly seems needed.
Death is such an enigma. On the one hand, we know it is unavoidable, part of life, and will come to us all. On the other hand, we are so shocked by it. St. Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 15:55 that because of the resurrection of Jesus after his death, death’s sting and victory are no more. This gives us assurance and hope for the afterlife, where there will be no more tears or sorrow. For now, death still jars us and shocks us. We weep for love lost. We are still bound to suffering in this world. It doesn’t feel right, and it isn’t right. But I believe that is why Jesus came, why he suffered, died, was buried, resurrected and ascended into heaven. I believe wholeheartedly in the everlasting life offered in Christ Jesus. And that is the only possible comfort I can bring to others who mourn.
Tuesday, 29 December 2009
A Year of Change
For me, this has been a year of immense change.
This is a reflection on the year that is now coming to its end.
The year began badly. In January 2009, my family and I were focussed completely on prayer for my 51-yr-old brother-in-law, who, on February 7, 2009, sadly lost his battle against heart failure. This was devastating for our family, especially my sister and her two children. I never thought that my brother-in-law's funeral would be the first funeral I would conduct. It was a priviledge to spend three weeks with my sister and her family at that time, but it is now even harder living 6000 miles away from her. And another family bereavement in April, the day before Easter, in fact - my dear stepfather passed away unexpectedly while taking a nap. Very peaceful, which is a blessing, but my sweet mother and all of us miss him so much. These two deaths have made an indelible mark on our lives. I thank God that both of these lovely men had developed trusting relationships with the Lord.
At the beginning of this year, I had a totally different job. I worked in a veterinary laboratory for a university, part-time. I have worked in science for 20 years, before my ordination in July of this year. So my job change has been a big change! To be honest, I was so ready to begin full-time ministry that I couldn't wait to leave my old job, even though I had enjoyed the work, and worked with good people. I feel a bit guilty that I haven't yet been back for a visit since I left. But, no regrets about leaving. I am so thankful that this vocational change is proving so fulfilling.
Also at the beginning of the year, I was still in training for ordination. My ordination training course was three years long, and in that time I made some lifelong friends and learned so much. But no theoretical training can prepare anyone for the realities of ordained ministry, I'm now finding out!
In July my mother came over from California for my ordination. What a wonderful day it was! I felt supported by family, friends and parishioners from my sending church and my new parish. Since then, it has felt a bit like a roller-coaster ride: anxiety, suspense, and fear, but also exhilaration, excitement and fun! I've noticed the fear has decreased a lot over the past 6 months, mostly replaced by an adrenaline edge that can be very energising, rather than a hindrance.
We were taught in 'vicar school' that one of the most important things affecting our curacy is our relationship with our training incumbent (the vicar in charge). And in this, I have been blessed, because my training incumbent and I have very similar theologies, and we get along very well. He has a good understanding of different personalities, including his own, and is gracious to people (including me) because of that. He's humble, and that is a big thing. He has allowed me to proceed in this curacy with as little or as much support and direction as I want or need. I know other curates whose training incumbents control virtually their every move, and I wouldn't like that.
In the midst of all the new experiences of meeting so many new people in the parish, taking different kinds of services, regular preaching, conducting funerals, and working together in a ministry team towards an exciting new future for the parish, I have found it challenging to keep up the home front. My husband and children have adapted very well to all the changes, but it isn't easy for any of us. I now work a lot at home, if I'm not out visiting people or at church. I do short bursts of housework in between doing ministry-related things. But even after everyone else gets home from school or from work, I continue to do both housework and ministry work. So it can feel a bit unfair, and like I'm working all the time. And that can be draining. I don't think I've learned yet how to take time out for myself that would refresh me. And I really could do with getting more exercise. I try hard to minimise the effects this new 'job' could have on my husband and children, but there isn't much time left for me. I have, however, managed to find time to re-connect with many of my old friends from high school through Facebook, which has been really satisfying and heart-warming. What great memories, and how wonderful to see people as they are now (they've aged, like I have! lol).
I'm excited about the coming year. Many new things are going to begin at church, offering new training experiences for me. And I'll continue trying to keep everything running smoothly at home. I'm looking forward to the summer when I will be ordained as a priest, and the additional changes that will bring to my ministry. And my lovely mother, sister, and niece and nephew are coming over to England this summer, too. I hope it is a brighter year, but whatever happens, I know that God is with me. I will sign off with one of my favourite Old Testament quotes: Joshua 1:9
Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified or discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
This is a reflection on the year that is now coming to its end.
The year began badly. In January 2009, my family and I were focussed completely on prayer for my 51-yr-old brother-in-law, who, on February 7, 2009, sadly lost his battle against heart failure. This was devastating for our family, especially my sister and her two children. I never thought that my brother-in-law's funeral would be the first funeral I would conduct. It was a priviledge to spend three weeks with my sister and her family at that time, but it is now even harder living 6000 miles away from her. And another family bereavement in April, the day before Easter, in fact - my dear stepfather passed away unexpectedly while taking a nap. Very peaceful, which is a blessing, but my sweet mother and all of us miss him so much. These two deaths have made an indelible mark on our lives. I thank God that both of these lovely men had developed trusting relationships with the Lord.
At the beginning of this year, I had a totally different job. I worked in a veterinary laboratory for a university, part-time. I have worked in science for 20 years, before my ordination in July of this year. So my job change has been a big change! To be honest, I was so ready to begin full-time ministry that I couldn't wait to leave my old job, even though I had enjoyed the work, and worked with good people. I feel a bit guilty that I haven't yet been back for a visit since I left. But, no regrets about leaving. I am so thankful that this vocational change is proving so fulfilling.
Also at the beginning of the year, I was still in training for ordination. My ordination training course was three years long, and in that time I made some lifelong friends and learned so much. But no theoretical training can prepare anyone for the realities of ordained ministry, I'm now finding out!
In July my mother came over from California for my ordination. What a wonderful day it was! I felt supported by family, friends and parishioners from my sending church and my new parish. Since then, it has felt a bit like a roller-coaster ride: anxiety, suspense, and fear, but also exhilaration, excitement and fun! I've noticed the fear has decreased a lot over the past 6 months, mostly replaced by an adrenaline edge that can be very energising, rather than a hindrance.
We were taught in 'vicar school' that one of the most important things affecting our curacy is our relationship with our training incumbent (the vicar in charge). And in this, I have been blessed, because my training incumbent and I have very similar theologies, and we get along very well. He has a good understanding of different personalities, including his own, and is gracious to people (including me) because of that. He's humble, and that is a big thing. He has allowed me to proceed in this curacy with as little or as much support and direction as I want or need. I know other curates whose training incumbents control virtually their every move, and I wouldn't like that.
In the midst of all the new experiences of meeting so many new people in the parish, taking different kinds of services, regular preaching, conducting funerals, and working together in a ministry team towards an exciting new future for the parish, I have found it challenging to keep up the home front. My husband and children have adapted very well to all the changes, but it isn't easy for any of us. I now work a lot at home, if I'm not out visiting people or at church. I do short bursts of housework in between doing ministry-related things. But even after everyone else gets home from school or from work, I continue to do both housework and ministry work. So it can feel a bit unfair, and like I'm working all the time. And that can be draining. I don't think I've learned yet how to take time out for myself that would refresh me. And I really could do with getting more exercise. I try hard to minimise the effects this new 'job' could have on my husband and children, but there isn't much time left for me. I have, however, managed to find time to re-connect with many of my old friends from high school through Facebook, which has been really satisfying and heart-warming. What great memories, and how wonderful to see people as they are now (they've aged, like I have! lol).
I'm excited about the coming year. Many new things are going to begin at church, offering new training experiences for me. And I'll continue trying to keep everything running smoothly at home. I'm looking forward to the summer when I will be ordained as a priest, and the additional changes that will bring to my ministry. And my lovely mother, sister, and niece and nephew are coming over to England this summer, too. I hope it is a brighter year, but whatever happens, I know that God is with me. I will sign off with one of my favourite Old Testament quotes: Joshua 1:9
Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified or discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.
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