Third Year Ramblings

The Curacy Cafe's days are numbered.  It has been three years, and hopefully, at some stage over the next six months, I will be moving out of the assistant curate role into the role of an incumbent vicar.  It will be a big change, and I'm already mourning the relative calm experienced when you're not the one who is ultimately responsible for the running of the parish.  I feel ready though.  I'm ready to put the vision that God has given me into practice and action.  I'm excited most about working collaboratively with people and doing everything I can to equip people for mission and ministry. 

I don't know yet where I will be going.  Most of my curate colleagues have already obtained posts.  But I am still waiting.  It is an anxious time, not just for me but for my family.  There are possibilities in the pipeline, but nothing is certain at this time. It is a time for patience and trust. 

It's hard to put into words all that I've learned over the past three years.  And I'm still learning. At the moment, I'm busy working with the vicar from a neighbouring parish in the schools that she is involved with (blooming hard work, coming up with fresh assemblies every week), and I'm leading a weekly discipleship course, "Life on the Frontline", from LICC, which is inspiring and encouraging and refreshing. 

I had a wonderful evening last night leading prayers as Chaplain at the Sea Cadets, who put on an excellent display for the Lord Lieutenant of Merseyside, Dame Lorna Muirhead.  And we're off next week on an outing with our Lunch Club, with people from our community who have mental health problems, to a candle factory in Beeston, to be followed by a stop at the Cheshire Farm Ice Cream shop. All great stuff.  It's not all wonderful, though, of course... as life runs alongside death at all times in this life - I have a funeral next week for a stillborn baby.  And we continue to minster to parishioners who are facing serious issues.  There's always a tension between the opposite ends of ministry. 

I'm nearly finished with my Master's, with just the dissertation outstanding.  Completing the assignments, alongside everything else, has been a challenge, but I'm excited about starting the dissertation- the focus will be on church growth.  Will try to blog about that later after it gets going.

Anyway, my posts seem to be few and far-between lately, probably because this is such a transitional time.  I'm trying to decide whether I want to blog anymore at all when my curacy is finished.  I may be too busy then .  It has been quite good, though, dipping my toe into the waters of the blogosphere during my curacy. 

Back again

It's 1:00am and I can't sleep, so I thought I would write a blog post. It's been a while. I've been away on a long holiday to my homeland, seeing family and old familiar places. We spent two weeks in the small town of Auburn, where my mother and sister live. Highlights from Northern California were:

The Sacramento Rivercats baseball game (we won!)

Boating on Rollins Lake

Shouka at Discovery Kingdom

seeing the house again in which I grew up

and my old high school

Seeing family. We also drove down to Southern California, to San Diego, where I lived for 8 years. San Diego is a wonderful place. We spent a week there, a block from the bay on one side and a block from the beach on the other. One of my favourite memories this time is of cycling down the boardwalk along with all the other cyclists, walkers, and skateboarders.

That, and watching my daughter and nephew boogie-boarding for ages in the waves of the Pacific:

The holiday was fantastic. California has got to be the best place on earth.

It was sure hard to leave my relatives. But now I'm back in rainy England. My training incumbent is now back from sabbatical, too. Things at church are really starting to pick up pace once again. It was a great experience to be 'in charge', so-to-speak, while he was away - I learned a lot -, but it's nice to have the vicar back again, too. But I'm starting to think about the reality of moving on, sometime in the next 15 months, to my first incumbency. I don't know where it will be, which is a little unsettling for the family, but we're trusting that things will work out. All shall be well, as Julian of Norwich says.

Priesthood

As it is, I am an ordained deacon. As of Saturday afternoon, June 19th, I will be an ordained priest. The wonderful people in my parish ask me if I am excited, or if I am looking forward to it. Definitely yes, and yes. But that is mixed up with a whole cocktail of other emotions as well.

This time last year when I was ordained as a deacon, I couldn't imagine being ordained priest. Gradually as the year has progressed, with experiences gained and much prayer and seeking after God, my imagination has been stretched. The composition of my being seems increasingly perfused with 'priestly' qualities. And the formal ordination service marks the point at which I will be able, with authority given by God and by the Church, to use those qualities in profound ways to serve God and to serve people.

Not too many years ago, I was fairly anti-priestly-authority, fairly anti-church-heirarchy and institutionalism. I still am, on many levels. I've always believed in the 'priesthod of all believers' (1 Peter 2:9). I long for the 'priesthood of all believers' to be full-on enabled and released into ministry. I wonder if the ordained priesthood as a stipendiary office would even be necessary if the priesthood of all believers were fully engaged in the world.

What does it mean to be a priest in Christ's church, when Christ himself is our High Priest (Hebrews 5)? In the Old Testament, a priest was a mediator between God and his people. There was a curtain in the Temple through which only the priest could pass to access God in the holy of holies, where the Ark of the Covenant rested. When Jesus was crucified, the temple curtain was torn in two (Matthew 27:51). Jesus opened up the way to God for us all, by his death on the cross. No longer is any earthly mediator required for any of us to have access to God; our heavenly mediator is Christ, and we ourselves live in Christ through his Spirit.

This is why I've never really liked the title priest to describe what we do today, because it can confuse the role that priests should fulfil in these post-resurrection days. But this is what they are called in many denominations, and so long as the role is clear and not abused (which sadly, it often is), then I can just manage to get my head around it. For me, being ordained as a priest will be a commissioning, a releasing, to be and to do what God has put me on this earth to be and to do. I just pray I will be faithful to this.

So the role is about both being and doing. But if there's no longer any need for the Old Testament priestly function, what do priests today do? I came across this incisive poem about being a priest, on the blog of an ordinand who seems also to wrestle a lot with the notion of priesthood and ordination. I'm so grateful we have a God who doesn't mind our wrestling with him and with the mysteries of his purposes (I've always loved Genesis 32:22-32 where Jacob wrestles with God).

Yes, I am very excited about Saturday, and about Sunday, when I will preside for the first time at Holy Communion, and be able to say the Absolution and the Blessing. It is a great privilege to be able to do this kind of work full-time. Please pray for me and for all those who are called to ordained ministry of whatever form. I pray that in our ministry, the name of Christ will be honoured above all else; unto him be all honour and glory for ever. Amen.

Miscellanea

Haven't posted for a while, so thought I would just say what I've been up to and what's ahead. I had a great day today. After seeing the two kids off to school, the usual morning prayers were said with my training incumbent, followed by some enjoyable conversation and play with the 'carers and tots' group, held every Monday at one of the two churches (there is also a Tuesday group held at the other church). Delivered the monthly parish newsletter to my usual two streets (there are several other volunteers and around 500 homes reached). I enjoy that - perhaps missed a calling as a postman? (what is the gender neutral term for postman?) A few emails and a few phone calls with the funeral director and someone wanting to discuss doing ecumenical outreach. Worked for a bit on Thursday's sermon; also went to the bank. After the kids got home from school, had to take my daughter to get some new school shoes and later after cooking dinner, I helped my son create an elephant costume to wear to school tomorrow.

Tomorrow is an 'IME' day, which is our continuing education scheme as curates. The theme for tomorrow is 'Growing Church', so it sounds like its right up my street. Looking forward to it. Also tomorrow in the evening I plan to attend my first Sea Cadets meeting, and this will become a regular feature in my parish ministry.

Wednesday I must finish up my sermon for Thursday and the funeral service that is also on Thursday. Should also make a pastoral visit. Thursday, of course, is Holy Communion when I will be preaching, followed by a funeral. Thursday evening I'll start working on Sunday's sermon. Friday is my day off, so I might take half of that to potter around doing nothing much at all, and the rest of it catching up on housework and tidying my study. Saturday I have Diocesan Synod to attend. So that is my week.

I'm looking ahead with excited anticipation to several events: a train journey down to London to visit an old high school friend; my pre-ordination retreat; the ordination of priests on 19th June; my first ever Holy Communion presidency on 20th June; the Race for Life on 27th June; and the Diocesan clergy conference from 28th June to 1st July. After all of that, I'll be eagerly looking forward to the visitation from California of my mom, sister, niece and nephew for three weeks! Yay!